Let's start with Squirtle and it's evolutions!
Ahh, yes! The original water starter! The supreme leader of water starters the like of which no other water starter can match. Yes, definitely a favorite among many Pokemon fans. In fact, I am a fan myself, but that does not mean this evolution chain is without flaws.
What can I really say about Squirtle besides that he sounds like he has throat cancer in the anime?
Now on to Wartortle, so let me start by saying, "What the fuck is up with Wartortle!?" It's absolutely horrendous and lazy in design, and half of it's features don't work at all. It's basically a lavender Squirtle with vampire teeth and feathers stapled to it's ears and ass. I'm happy that they have an explanation for the tail and ears, but that does not make them any less terrible to look at. Also, It wouldn't of bothered me so much if they would of expanded upon the Wartortle's features in the third evolution, but they didn't, they completely scrapped everything as if they didn't exist.
Don't get me wrong, people, Blastoise is badass, and a force to be reckoned with, yet that doesn't shy away from the fact that the entire evolutionary chain is completely out of sync in terms of design cohesion.
Speaking of Blastioise..what is there negative to say about this monster? He has a great design, and he pretty much redeems the lackluster train wreck that his pre-evo managed to drag them in.
So let us get down to the individual ratings.
Squirtle gets a...... Everstone!
Wartortle gets a...... Large dose of Sodium Thiopental
Blastoise gets a...... 10 out of 10
What? You say my ratings are unconventional? Perhaps, but they do get a point across, right? Anyways, that's all for today! Tomorrow we shall review...TOTODILE and his evolutionary chain. Don't worry, though, it's not going to be as bad as this one.
